Euphoria

Today is the test. Will my body respond? Will it still hurt or do miracles still exist? It’s late afternoon, I change my clothes. The summer is persisting; my body is prepared and I feel lucky. 

Gently, I walk down the stairs; I want to prolong this moment – of hope, of longing, of excitement. Outside, the heat gives me comfort. I cross the street while my Garmin watch is preparing for takeoff. I reach the lake, push the button and slowly put my feet forward, one after the other, in that pace that makes my heart work and my mind at peace. It’s slightly downhill at first and the gravel on the path reduces the impact. I am waiting for the burning feeling in my buttocks that for so many months has prevented me from doing what I love the most. But it’s not there!

I continue on the path; after 1 k, I feel a tiny soreness in the upper part of my right hamstring but still nothing in my buttocks. I increase the speed, I am running on clouds. Now there is an uphill slope but I don’t slow down even though I am a little afraid of the pain that might come. But still, my buttocks are fine and even my hamstring is all right, the soreness doesn’t get worse. So, I just breathe in the air, look at the trees, feel the scent from the lake and smile to everyone I pass.

Dare I say that “I’m back”? The above was on Monday and I’ve run three times since then. Still, I feel alright; my injury is no longer an injury even though I still have to be careful.

In this blog post, I will share my experience, the advice I’ve got, and reflect upon how to be patient. And as reading is one of my remedies, the other part of this blog post will be about books with one book recommendation.

Diagnosis and treatment

Last week, I had a cortisone injection in my gluteus muscle. Since I was skeptical, I’d consulted a couple of physiotherapists, my chiropractor and other runners about their opinion of cortisone and most of them thought I should take it. Of course, cortisone should be avoided but in my case, with several months of pain, I believe I made the right decision. The orthopedist was thorough and used the ultra sound machine so he could see exactly where the cortisone went. I relied upon him and I said to myself that science had moved forward. What could go wrong? He didn’t promise me that this would fix it but he said that it wouldn’t do any harm in the long run. So, if it wouldn’t work, I’d just miss one week of running.

How to start up again – and most important – how SOON?

The doctor told me to rest a couple of days and then it was important to start circulation exercises and he suggested cycling. Since cycling is not my favorite sport activity, I preferred the cross-trainer machine which was an excellent alternative, according to the doctor. No running for one week!

Journey of Patience

One week might sound like nothing when I had been struggling for months with my injury. However, since I had started running again and finally got a diagnosis, I was eager than ever to continue my training. It’s funny about time and patience. When something goes on for a long time and you don’t know what to do and how to react, you just get somehow indifferent and apathetic. But when you know that within a few weeks or months, your problem will most likely be solved, then patience doesn’t exist.

During the fall, I will continue to build up strength and endurance. My plan is to continue muscle exercises at least two times a week, swim once a week and run as much as possible but increase slowly. The soreness in my hamstring was probably the old injury in the tendon, which the MRI showed as “minimal” but which takes time to heal. So, interval training will have to wait.

So, now my journey has started. If patience was something you could buy in a can, I would drink loads of it. However, this is not the first time I’ve been injured and impatient to come back to running but this time, I’ll do my best to be wise…

Literature

In periods of distress when I get a feeling of inability to change my situation, literature often helps me. However, sometimes it can be hard to concentrate and focus on the story; therefore, books with short chapters are ideal. Right now, I am reading a book in French.

So, this is my book recommendation (unfortunately not translated into English):

Annie Ernaux: Se Perdre.

It’s written as a diary; in fact, it is her actual diary from a period of time in her life when she had a relation with a married man. She is very openhearted and gives the reader everything of herself; she shows her faults and weaknesses and I admire her for being so true, so confessing and in a way so accepting of her own hardship and submission. The language is beautiful, not only because it’s French but very often, she relates to other writers and well-known novels. This intertextuality appeals to me, especially when I recognize the book or a character that she mentions. Even though the book is mainly about her relationship and how she “sacrificed” her life for one year with this lover, it’s so much more. Her reflections about her earlier miscarriage, her dead mother and her memories of the past – those are some of the main themes. What’s fascinating about Annie Ernaux is her way of showing her perception and feelings about her experiences without being judgmental. She doesn’t give her opinion of this man’s behavior, she just observes and describes what she see and how she feels.

This book has very short chapters, most often only one or half a page. When reading a book with short chapters, I know I can always stop. In fact, I always read such a book faster because it is so easy to read “just another chapter”.

I am curious to know how other readers feel about that. Short or long chapters?

However, now when the fall comes, I can’t wait to read all the novels on my list (with short and/or long chapters) but I would also like to have recommendations – especially about books that makes you forget about time…

Which book is the must-read-this-fall-book that will make me forget that I have to be patient?

To be continued

Next book recommendation will be a book in English, I promise! However, Annie Ernaux has written other books that are translated so I recommend her as an author.

Also, I will continue my journey and hopefully inspire other runners and other people in general.