For a long time, I have been in a period of transition. 2019 was a year of change, development, challenges and enlightenment. I stepped over boundaries, left my comfort zone, fulfilled dreams, and found more purpose in my life. My wish is to inspire and to encourage others to follow their dreams and find purpose and meaning. So, here’s my story (including some book recommendations):

On January 5, I moved to a part of Stockholm where I had lived when I first moved to Sweden almost 30 years ago. It felt like coming home. For most part of my life, I’ve felt rootless and restless and therefore, I have always traveled a lot. Now, for the first time in years, I was home. I no longer have a wish to move to Paris and I don’t have the same need of traveling anymore. I now feel a calmness and a sense of belonging that I never thought I would feel.

However, moving and parting with a former part of your life is never easy. In the beginning of the year, I still felt lost. It was hard to separate from the person I had lived with for more than a decade; it was a grieving process for me. Even though we separated as friends, there is no such thing as a “happy divorce”. You might stay friends with the person but there will be suffering and sacrifice – at least for me there was (I might write a book one day). Nevertheless, I am grateful for the years we had together and he is a warm and kind-hearted person that I will always care about.

In March, I went on a training camp in Portugal. I stepped out of my comfort zone and challenged my physical limits. As I wrote in my earlier blog post about this trip, I got a new perception of pain. Also, on this trip, I made lot of new friends. Being single has its benefits – I talked to much more people than usual.

Yes, looking back at this year, I have got many new friends. Wonderful people have inspired me and given me values that I will carry with me through life. For this I am truly grateful.

Now, when I had time on my own, I had the possibility to really reflect upon my life and my choices. Deep down I had a wish to do something more than working in an office. I needed more challenges and I wished to work with something that I truly believe in. Since running is my passion and that I with time have understood the importance of exercising – especially with age – I knew that I wished to help people working out. I had been thinking about the Personal Trainer course before but it wasn’t until now, that I had the courage to take the step. Therefore, I took and intensive course during the summer and became a Personal Trainer; I fulfilled a dream! This is one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made! It cost money, time and a lot of work, practice and patience but it was worth it. Finally, I could cut down on my working hours at the office and in the end of October, I started working part-time at a gym: Puls & Träning.

Now I have clients and this job feels so meaningful; I feel that I make a difference.

One more positive outcome was that I started holding Boot Camp sessions with my colleagues at the office and it turned out to be a great success! My colleagues felt they got stronger and I saw their development. It’s amazing to see when people learn body control and discover muscles they didn’t know they had :-). And we had so much fun!

The best books that I have read in 2019

Killing Commendatore – Haruki Murakami (best fiction).

This was a page turner for me. Murakami often has these quite lonesome characters that are isolated from other people. However, it’s almost always a choice of their own. I’ve always liked these quite odd characters; maybe it’s because I can identify with the need of being alone now and then. Anyway, Murakami adds over natural elements but he does it in a dreamlike; however realistic way.

Feel the Fear and do it Anyway – Susan Jeffers.

This is the best self-help book that I’ve read. It changed my perspective, my view of others and myself, and how to handle different situations. HIGHLY recommendable, even if you don’t need “self-help”; it’s an extremely good eye-opener. Here are some citations:

“Inside of you, just waiting to emerge, is an incredible source of energy, which is more than sufficient for you to create a joyful and satisfying life. It isn’t magic. It is only a process of tapping the energy already there, though you are not aware of it.”

“Until you fully understand that you, and no one else, create what’s going on in your head, you will never be in control of your life.”

“You are not a failure if you don’t make it; you’re a success because you try.”

“Intention is a powerful tool in creating something you want in your life.”

Aristotle’s Way – Edith Hall.

This was a book we had in the philosophy book club that I join. I had no idea what it was about so it was a nice surprise. Furthermore, it’s a good self-educating book. It is a lot about finding your potential and becoming the best version of yourself. However, it is also about the importance of having other people and friends in your life. Here’s a citation:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.

Endure – Alex Hutchinson.

A must-read for runners! There are many good examples of how pain is something we create in our mind. Some citations:

“it’s actually the brain alone that sets and enforces the seemingly physical limits we encounter during prolonged exercise.” (Tim Noakes)

“the perception of effort […] is a fundamentally psychological construct.”

“The mind […] frames the outer limits of what we believe is humanly possible.”

My High Lights in 2019 in short

• I stepped out of my comfort zone and challenged my body with more working out and not being afraid of pain
• I ran two marathons: Stockholm and Chicago
• I took a course and became a Personal Trainer
• I started up a weekly Boot Camp session at work which became successful
• I made a lot of new friends
• I read a lot of wonderful books
• I did go to Paris once

New year – new challenges

Many people have new year’s wishes and sometimes they fulfill them but often it only lasts during the month of January. The key is, I believe, to have intention and a goal. Why do you wish to lose weight, to change your job, to start working out, etc? Find your intention and work towards it. Changes are not easy; it demands patience and perseverance but isn’t that what’s so great about challenges?

“Nobody said it was easy” (Coldplay, The Scientist) and if it was easy would we grow as humans? Development and the hard work of changing a habit, fulfilling a goal – isn’t that what makes life fun?

I am still in a kind of transition but I have finally found intention and peace. My job as a Personal Trainer will always be a challenge and something that I will continue to develop within – and I am thankful for that. To be open minded and never stop learning is one of life’s precious meanings, I believe.

My goals for 2020 and why

• Develop as a Personal Trainer because I wish to help people and I love this job
• Run at least two marathons because I love running and having a race planned gives me focus and courage to step out of my comfort zone
• Work on my pull-ups so that I can make it without rubber band because I know that strengthening those muscles will give me a better posture, lower risk of injuries and it’s fun to have a specific goal
• And of course – live in the present, spend time with friends and family and have fun because that’s what life’s about

What did you do in 2019? Are you happy with your choices? What are your goals for 2020 and why?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!